The problem with housework is: no-one does it while you are working outside in the yard. This, was paticularly the case this evening as dinner time approached and my kitchen resembled (some kind of witty analogy which I'm too tired to think of now.).
Anyway I've fobbed the kids off for 10 minutes and am wildly scrubbing vulcanised cornflakes off breakfast bowls when I hear the unmistakeable wails of an "I'm-really-hurt-this-time" boy.
Mr 4 is injured. It's something to do with his toe and the dog and the trampoline, but between the wailing and the tears and the snot..."here, just pop it in this sink full of cold water".
Mr 5 is wanting to know if it's 10 o'clock yet, if it's food time yet. Mr 1 is climbing the kitchen bench and picking up everything in sight.
"Would you like breakfast for dinner?" I ask while googling 'injured toenail treatment' and removing Lego from the toddlers mouth.
"YES!!!" Is the cry of ecstasy....so nice to know cornflakes beat practically anything I cook.
Anyway, I'm dumping cereal and milk into those bowls I just cleaned and Mr 4 is screaming at me because it's been longer than 2 seconds and I'm clearly not coming back.
Inspection of the wound reveals a jagged tear down the centre of the nail. Dr Google suggests cut off the jagged edges, band aids and Panadol...easy. Except I said, we need to cut it off...What kind of idiot says that? CUE ONE WAY TICKET TO HYSTERIA-LAND.
That's ok, I've got lollipops, and look that doesn't even hurt when I use these special scissors, does it?!
Here, have a cool bandage too and you want sprinkles on your cornflakes too...no problem!
Sugar saves the day again...now, where's the secret stash of Emergency Chocolate for mum?!
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